Millie’s journey was far from over after death. She continues to be a part of our daily lives. Of course, it’s not how I want it, but I have learned to live with it. I have learned to live with her memory. I have learned to live with her spirit by me. I have learned to accept that the small urn I have in my bedroom doesn’t contain Millie. It’s just her shell. Her energy was never destroyed. It exists around me. I can’t see her, but I do feel her. Ever since her death, I began emerging myself in other teachings in terms of spiritual guidance. Born and raised Catholic, I was taught a very structured way of following a religion. Follow the commandments, and you’ll go to heaven after death. Sin, and you’ll go to purgatory or hell. Of course, following the commandments was the way to go! But after Millie, I found much more than the structured religion I was raised in.
One thing I learned about is signs. Signs are given to us by our Guardian Angels. One of the many books I read regarding spiritual teachings was a book on signs. From it, I learned that you can communicate with your angels via signs. It explained how a person can pick anything and have it become a sign. It can be a butterfly, a bee, or pretty much anything you want. The first sign I toyed with was a kiwi. I absolutely despise kiwis. They are easy to spot when I’m around them, so I told myself and my guides that if I see kiwis, I know you are with me. I made sure to say the ones at the grocery store didn’t count. One night, as I sat on the couch watching TV, Mia came to me and brought me the toy food she had prepared. Inside her bowl was a piece of fake lettuce. She didn’t call it lettuce, though.
She said, “here mommy. It’s a kiwi.” A coincidence? Perhaps. I was skeptical as well. I thought, Nah, this is just a coincidence. So, I made the sign tougher. I said, okay, spirit guides, this time I need to see a kiwi next to a rainbow. Hard enough, I thought. A “couple of” weeks passed, and no kiwis and rainbows were in sight. That was till one day, as we drove to the beach, I was sitting with Mia in the car’s rear seat, and I happened to glance over to see which YouTube video she was watching, and there it was – a kiwi-shaped pillow next to a rainbow-shaped pillow. Another coincidence? I wasn’t so sure anymore.
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